A Woman’s Role

I’ve been called a lot of of things – old fashioned, prudish, and unwise.  Some have even made the comment that they didn’t realize anyone actually lived like my husband and I do.  I’m not talking about anything super-natural, but on the other hand, maybe I am; I’m talking about living your marriage according to Biblical principles. 

Unfortunately, society has done a really good job of convincing people that marriage should be about a 50/50 split.  Some even go to the extreme of figuring half of the rent and utilities.  That kind of arrangement makes marriage into little more than a “room mate with benefits” proposition.

Hollywood hasn’t done much better; typically men are portrayed as incompetent at best, more often as incapable of leading a family.  A reality reflective of these types of shows would lead to few men being willing to attempt to guide their families in the way God intended.  Men are designed to love and lead, and wives play a huge part in their success.

Women have two main strands to address in their roles as Christian wives; responsibility to God and to their husbands.  As with all things; before we can develop the human-to-human interaction, the human-to-God relationship must be solidified.  I’ll touch on that first.

Here’s a newsflash! God didn’t design our husbands to meet all of our needs; there are needs that only God can meet.  We need to develop a trusting relationship with God our Father that will lead to a hopeful assurance that He has designed all things according to His plan.  We need to continually grow spiritually so we can know and understand what God’s will is for us as women and wives. As we get closer to Him, we will find that all the needs our Father intended to meet have been met.  That makes a fair playing field for our husbands.

When we have our spiritual needs met by God, we can free ourselves to fill our role in marriage.  The number one job we have as wives is to show respect for our husbands.  The problem is that respect sounds a lot easier than it actually is; husbands shouldn’t have to earn respect from wives, God said wives should respect their husbands period.  Part of respect is showing support for and confidence in him.

Know your husband’s heart and know that if he has a good heart, he would never intentionally cause you distress or disappointment.  Words can be so powerful – in one sentence a wife can build up or tear down her husband.  Wives need to constantly show their husbands they accept and admire them.  TV has done men a terrible injustice by portraying them as incapable of feeling the sting of our words or experiencing insecurity.

It isn’t enought to simply give lip service to being respectful; wives must show their husbands each day.  One way to do this is to adopt a submissive attitude.  That doesn’t mean that a woman rolls over and plays dead intellectually; rather it is an attitude of thoughtfulness toward our husbands, their ideas, and the Biblical principles of marriage.

Another way to show respect is to be willing to follow his lead.  God gave husbands the job of leading the home; they can’t do that effectively if they have to battle their wives for that leadership position.

The Bible refers to wives as being helper; that’s the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit.  That makes our roles pretty powerful and important in my opinion.  Our marriages are designed to reflect the relationship Christ has with the church – if we use our energy to help our husbands and honor them, we can’t go wrong.

Ephesian 5: 22-33

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.



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